March 1, 2013

                                                                  

Today would have been Mom's 93rd birthday.  Near the end of her life she told me that she hoped she wouldn't make it to 93.  She got her wish, but oh, how I wish she were here today to celebrate.  I put some pink gerbera daisies and some pink roses on Mom and Dad's grave last night after work.  I went back today after work just to stand there and reflect for a few moments.  I miss both of them tremendously...every day.

When I arrived home I found Mom's final bill from the nursing home in the mail...over $1100.  I have not done her taxes yet, but that is next on the list.  Once that is taken care of I will close her bank account and split the last of the funds with my brother.

 So...I volley between the sacred and the profane.Standing at their grave feels sacred to me.  I guess dealing with the final details of Mom's life can be sacred too.

Happy Birthday, Mom.  I love you and I miss you.

                                                     Mom's last birthday, March 1, 2012

                                                      
                                                      A good day a few years ago

                                         

A different kind of New Year

I have very little energy for any sort of New Year celebration.  I hope that this year is going to be a good one...one filled with promise, fun and new adventures.

I am also mindful that this is the first year that both Mom and Dad will be gone.  I visited the grave on New Year's Eve.  I talked to them and told them how much I miss them.  There is a hole that no one else but my parents can fill.  I know over time it will get easier, but right now that is hard to imagine.  I have been sorting through photos on my phone and came up with several of Mom that tell the story of her final years...years of struggle and illness...years alone without my Dad.

Mom fast asleep in her chair

Mom watching out her window

Mom in her new outfit

Mom's last visit with Santa - Dec. 2011

Christmas Eve 2012

It is early in the morning on Christmas eve.  I got up early to feed the dogs and let them out.  Once I am up, it is hard for me to get back to sleep....so here I am making another entry into my blog.


This is the first Christmas without Mom or Dad.  I have had a really hard time getting engaged with the season, but I am doing my best for Pamela and Haven's sake.

I have visited Mom and Dad's grave regularly since they were buried in October.  I put wreaths on their grave and my Grandmother's grave, which is right next to Mom and Dad.  I stand there and talk to them...tell them that I miss them...love them....I know they are not really there anymore..just their remains.  Somehow, having a place to visit helps a bit.

I am glad that I had the last five years with Mom.  At first, I dreaded having to manage her on my own without Dad, but in the end I am grateful that we had that extra time together.  There were certainly highs and lows as this blog attests, but still I am grateful.  All we have with people we love is a limited amount of time to enjoy each others' company.  Mom and I had that over the last several years.

I am sorry that she won't be with us this year. I wish Mom and Dad were both coming to our house today for presents and dinner.  Dad would have so enjoyed Haven and Mom would have loved whatever gorgeous outfit Pamela will dress her in today.  Nothing and no one every replaces parents.

Life goes on

I made it through my first Thanksgiving without Mom or Dad.  I visited the grave the night before the holiday.  I always clean the gravestone and arrange the flowers.  I talk with them and let them know that I love and miss them.  It feels like all I can do now.

I feel kind of hollow and flat these days.  This is normal and will eventually pass.

In the meantime, we have been dealing with major plumbing issues for a week.  Last Monday, the utility room flooded sending water out into the basement and soaking the carpet.  The plumber came and tried to clear the drains Wednesday night...but gave up at 11pm.   By Friday morning we had even more water in the basement.  A whole crew showed up and pumped out the basement.  They also dug a hole the size of a gravesite in the front yard trying to get to the plumbing.  They are still not sure where the source of the problem is in the system.  It has been a rough week.

This rug and a lot of our belonging were soaked!

Mom and Dad are finally together again.  I saw the stone for the first time today.  I talked to Mom and Dad....I cried.  I felt more alone than I ever have in my life.  I am sure this is a normal part of grieving....but it seems more final now that they are both gone.  I miss them so.

October 15, 2012

BURIAL SERVICE FOR GENEVIEVE E. and  ROBERT T. CORLISS
OCTOBER 15, 2012

10:00AM

Forest Lawn Cemetery
Seattle, WA

Revelation 14:13

I heard a voice from heaven say, Write this: Blessed are the dead who die

in the Lord from now on. Yes, said the Spirit, let them find rest from their

labors, for their works accompany them.

BELL CEREMONY

Dad and Mom, with the ringing of this bell, we bid you safe journey.

BLESSING

May the wind be always at your backs.
May the sun shine warm upon your faces,
And the rains fall soft upon your fields.
Until we meet again,
May God hold you both in the palm of His Hand.

COMMITTAL OF ASHES

In sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ, we commend to Almighty God: Robert T. and Genevieve E. Corliss.   We commit them to the ground; earth to earth; ashes to ashes, dust to dust. The Lord bless them and keep them, the Lord maketh his face to shine upon them and be gracious unto them and give them peace.  Amen.

Having committed Robert and Genevieve’s Spirits to eternal rest, we thank them for all they have given to us in their long and loving lives.  What good they have shown us, we will show to others.

Dad and Mom, we release you now to the next part of your spiritual journey as you walk hand in hand with your Creator. All those who have gone before you are lighting your way."  

Dad and Mom, with the ringing of this bell, we bid you safe journey.  Amen.

Ringing of the Tibetan Bell


Celebrant:  Bonita Corliss  Witness:  Pamela Wilkins

Genevieve E. Corliss

                                                                                            Mom on October 1, 2012

Genevieve Eleanor Corliss was born in Danville, Illinois on March 1, 1920 and passed away on October 3, 2012 in Burien, WA at the age of 92. 

 

Mom grew up during the Roaring Twenties and the Great Depression. As a young woman she joined the Women’s Auxiliary Army Corp during World War II.  She served as a telephone operator.  She returned to Seattle and continued to work for the telephone company.  In 1946 she met Robert T. Corliss and they married in August 1947.  In the years that followed they had two children, Mark and Bonita.

Mom was always up to try something new.  As a family we skied, ice skated and played tennis.  Mom and Dad both loved golf, which they played for many years.  They were both accomplished “hole in one” golfers during their years of retirement in Arizona.  They lived there for 28 years, but always found time to come back to Seattle to visit many times over the years.

With Dad’s passing in June 2007, Mom lost her companion and friend of 60 years.  She adjusted to living full time in Seattle and spent many happy hours with her daughter Bonita shopping, going to lunch, and enjoying the scenery on long car rides.  She always enjoyed holiday celebrations with Bonita and Pamela and in 2010; their daughter Haven joined the fun.

Mom struggled with ill health in the last years of her life, but proved to be a strong and determined person.  She lived her life the way she chose to live it.  One example of her determination occurred in early May 2011 when she was recuperating from a broken hip.  She decided that she wanted to go home before her release date.  She escaped from the facility and took a cab home!  Mom could be a force of nature!

She was preceded in death by her father Clifton, Mother Carolyn, sisters Helen and Juanita, and her husband Robert T. Corliss.  She is survived by her son Mark (Sharon), daughter Bonita (Pamela) and four grandchildren, Danny, Josh, Lizzie and Haven.

The family would like to thank her caregivers at Highline Hospice, Scott, Rosie and Sharon.  The family would also like to thank all the staff at Burien Nursing and Rehabilitation and Dr. Buttitta.  They provided Mom with the best of care over the last several months of Mom’s life.

Mom always said "I love you so" as I left the nursing home.  I loved her as much as she loved me and I will always be grateful that she was my Mom.

At her request, there will be no service.  Cremation took place on October 12, 2012.  Now Genevieve and Robert will be buried together on October 15, 2012 at Forest Lawn Cemetery in West Seattle, WA.  Mom and Dad can finally rest in peace next to her mother, Carolyn L. Marion.   

God bless them all.